Who Am I ?

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

7TH OF FEBRUARY 2021

Oh, my cherished blog,

It has been some time since I last shared my thoughts here, in my post titled "The Best Way I Know How." I’ve found myself more withdrawn lately, both from this space and from my notes, aching to write yet struggling with the persistent block of creativity. The desire to return, to pour my thoughts onto these digital pages, regardless of how they are received, has never left me. While fame or widespread recognition was never my goal, I longed for meaningful exchanges with those who seek a deeper understanding of diverse perspectives and human experiences.

During this pause, I've explored new ways to express my inner artistry. I've learned to navigate life’s flow, much like the current of water, fully surrendering to my creative impulses. Embracing my own humanity, free from the need for perfection, has brought me a deep sense of self-acceptance. Yet, even in this space of newfound self-love, lingering doubts still whisper.

In the midst of this uncertainty, I turn to writing as my refuge, surrendering to the guidance of Allah. I allow my emotions to spill onto the page, raw and unfiltered. At the start of the year, I had big plans—cycling and running events, pacing myself along the way. I was confident that the worst of the pandemic was behind us, but then, everything changed.

The sudden cancellation of races and competitions dashed my dreams of winning accolades. Unforeseen challenges arose, and with them came new people—some imparting valuable lessons, others becoming lasting friends. These encounters inspired a journey of self-reflection, as I began to examine both myself and the impact others have had on me.

In my quest for strength, I pushed myself harder, often wondering how often I had deceived myself—pretending everything was fine when my inner world was in turmoil. What I’ve come to realize is that life’s course is rarely linear, and I don’t need to break myself in the effort to steer it back on track. My relentless pursuit of perfection once demanded flawless results, a standard I am now learning to temper. Letting go of what I cannot control, and learning to trust in Allah’s guidance, is a lesson I continue to struggle with, but one I am determined to fully embrace.

To be continued...