Who Am I ?

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

7TH OF FEBRUARY 2021

Oh, my beloved blog!

It's been quite a while since my last post, "The Best Way I Know How." I've found myself less active here and in my notes, yearning to write but grappling with a persistent writer's block. The longing to return and spill my thoughts onto these digital pages, regardless of their reception, has lingered within me. While widespread recognition wasn't my primary aim, I yearned for meaningful interactions with readers curious about diverse perspectives and human experiences.

In this hiatus, I've explored novel ways to express my inner artistic self. I've learned to navigate life's currents, akin to the flow of water, fully embracing my creative fervor. Embracing my own humanity, devoid of the pursuit of superhuman feats, has fostered a profound sense of self-acceptance. Yet, amidst this newfound self-love, lingering doubts persist.

Amidst this uncertainty, I seek refuge in writing and surrender to the guidance of Allah. I allow my emotions to spill forth onto the page, unfiltered and sincere. At the outset of the year, I had laid plans to partake in cycling and running events, mindful of pacing myself. Assured that the pandemic was waning, suddenly, everything shifted.

The abrupt cancellation of races and competitions shattered my aspirations of clinching top honors. Unknown challenges emerged, bringing diverse people into my life—some leaving indelible lessons, while others became steadfast friends. These encounters prompted me to embark on a journey of introspection, studying both myself and the impacts of others on my being.

In my pursuit of strength, I pushed myself relentlessly, questioning the frequency of self-deception—how often I'd feigned normalcy when everything inside was askew. I've come to understand that life's trajectory often veers unpredictably, yet I'm learning that I need not shatter myself in an attempt to realign it. My relentless pursuit of perfection demands flawlessness, a trait I'm gradually learning to moderate. Letting go of the uncontrollable and placing trust in Allah's guidance remains a lesson I grapple with, striving to embrace it wholeheartedly.

To be continued...